joshua
If nostalgia for 1990s dorm life is your thing, you’ll love this place. The room came with authentic retro carpet stains, furniture that screamed “IKEA dropout,” and a décor theme best described as institutional beige. Furnishings were minimal in a way that felt philosophical — just a bed and a counter doing triple duty as desk, dresser, and TV stand, hovering bravely over a lonely mini-fridge. Think of the last decent hotel you stayed in, then remove everything that made it comfortable. Bonus features included a pubic hair clinging to the shower ceiling (a bold design choice) and an elevator light show flickering under a five-year-old inspection sticker. But hey, the property was almost okay — if you squint and lower your standards.